Updated: Apr 29
TALK DIRTY TO ME BABY!
PLAY THE AURAL SEX GAME
Nope, that's not a typo...Aural, as in relating to the ear or sense of hearing. Not Oral, as in the mouth. Although I love the mouth for pleasure play, that's not the focus here. Aural Sex, Dirty Talk, or Sex Talk, are under-appreciated pleasure boosters that are for more than just the bedroom. Use this game to not only get the juices flowing but as a way to learn more about your pleasure partner's turn-ons and turn-offs. This game isn't limited to how one hears a word; it's the tone and inflection that can also change the way a word impacts us. Change the speed and the way you annunciate a word and watch the subtle, and not so subtle ways, it affects not only you but your partner.
Playing this game with a partner takes communication and intent, both of which should be discussed beforehand. This game can be limited to one round per topic or endless rounds. It's your call. Be flexible and open; be playful and curious. You'll need a subject and a list of five words or phrases for each subject for you and your partner to choose from. Here's how to get the most out of this game.
SHARE YOUR INTENT
Tell your partner the reason why you want to play this game with them. Do you want to learn about their turn-ons and turn-offs? Are you hoping to create a "new" and exciting language to communicate pleasure with them? Do you want to tantalize and tease? All of the above? Clarify your intention and ask them to join you in the exploration. It's essential you both respond based on your personal experience and not on how the other person responds. Feeling through these words and how they land in your body is the key to making the most of this game.
SUBJECT-PICK A BODY PART OR PHRASE
An excellent place to start is with a specific body part: For example, the vulva (Yoni, Honeypot, Love Tunnel, Box, A Portal of Tasty Delight ) or the penis (Wand of Wizardry, Manhood, Hammer, The King, Member ). Another option is a phrase. For example, pick phrases for intercourse (Energy Merge, Devour You, Take Me, Force Me, Fill Me Up). Pick up to five words or phrases for you and/or your partner to choose from, or download Miss Jaiya's Erotic Blueprint Aural Sex Game Worksheet below for more ideas.
Warning: this document contains words that might spark desire, shock and awe.
SPEAK-WRITE-FEEL YOUR WORDS
If you're practicing social distancing, play this game through FaceTime or Zoom. Speak and type in the chatbox your topic and the five words you want your play partner to choose from. If you're in person, you can write them down ahead of time, then speak them to your partner or ask them to read them out loud. Then rate each word using the following scale. HOT (Boom/Arousal) NICE (Arousal is not far off) MEH (Maybe, but not sure) NOPE (Does nothing for me). Keep track of each other's responses.
KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND PRACTICE LISTENING WITHOUT JUDGEMENT
Enjoy the giggles and snort laughs that may arise when sharing some of your words. However, be mindful of the knee-jerk reactions and saying words like yuck or gross! What turns one person off can be a massive turn-on for someone else. You wouldn't want your partner to feel shame, or shut down as a result of your gag-me reaction. It's also important they understand this as well. If this comes up, take a moment to pause and ask your partner to tell you more about what they feel when they hear a particular word that might be a trigger for them, and of course, ask yourself the same.
ADD THE RESULTS TO YOUR BAG OF PLEASURE BOOSTERS
Play with the results of this Aural play practice, and find new ways and situations to use the words that rank higher up on you and your partner's pleasure meters. You can add them to steamy texts in the middle of the day, whisper them in their ear when passing by each other in the kitchen, or see how they feel when used in the middle of intercourse. The point is to play! And keep playing by adding to your own Aural Pleasure Language by seeing who can come up with the sexiest or most creative turn-on words and phrases.
Like all things pleasure, the more you play, the more expansive your capacity for pleasure becomes! Enjoy!